this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
