i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
