i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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