from now on my penis is your penis
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I skipped work to stalk him.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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