i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize