I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
