Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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