I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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