We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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