every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
