watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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