He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
