Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
someone owes me an orgasm
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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