Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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