gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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