I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
