I'm going to rape someone's good day.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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