Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
