and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
