Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
