That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
