I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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