i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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