No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
