JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
ttyl tear gas
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
