how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
