I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize