is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
