ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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