no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
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everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
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He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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