I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
