he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
