I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
