I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
