why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
