If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
