Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
