Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she smelled like a LAN party
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
