my phone needs a breathalizer
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
