Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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