I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
