Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
