So drunk its hurt
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
