How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Screwed.edu
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
im on a boat
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