ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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