no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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