Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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