last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
