Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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