I seem to have left my pride at pride
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
