That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
