Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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