i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize