thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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