I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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