there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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