You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
