I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
