I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize