I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
